Birthdays

Today's blog is more of a personal journal entry than a post, so be fore-warned. The Lord is doing great things and I thought that I'd share. Ok, so I don't really think about birthdays the way I used to. Birthdays were about parties, presents, and cake when I was little. This year my Daddy asked me what I wanted and I truthfully said.... "Peace." Where did that come from?? I said it and chuckled, but I wondered why that particular word came out. My usual answer is "Nothing, really." And, in truth, there is usually something I really do want. Shoes. Clothes. My favorite pottery. The usual. But peace is really what I wanted this year. Peace of mind, peace at my work, a whole night of uninterrupted peaceful sleep, peace for family members who are going through trials of all sorts, peace for my friends who have issues as well, and peace for my body(a break from being worker, wife, and mommy). So although strange, it was heart-felt. My dad must have known from my chuckle that there was more to the story but he just smiled and left it at that. (Smart man!!)

I really can't pinpoint the exact moment that it began...A trip won by my sister-in-law on the radio?...A prayer breathed in the midst of trials at work?... Obedience? Lord, please help me!....A Bible verse from K-Love?... Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful. Proverbs 16:20... A prayer offered up for me by my mother?...A facebook post from my sister about allowing the Lord to clean the dirtiest parts of our souls?...A challenge from the pulpit asking God to show you your sins?...A podcast I listened to from John 15?...Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does not bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. John 15:2,6,8...A moment God knew would happen twenty-two years ago when I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior? Of course! God is faithful.

The enemy causes us to become so cynical. I had seen so much bad from the world I'd become desensitized. A hardened heart. Scaly, blind eyes. Yuck! I found myself getting rundown and weary. When our pastor dared us to pray for God to reveal our sin to us, I took his dare. "Why not?" I figured. I felt that God was stirring in me, and I thought I could take whatever it was He showed me. Wow. Boy was I NOT prepared for what I would see. I saw that I was covered with a filthy film of sin. God cleaned off my eyes just enough to start showing me the sin in my heart. I was not prepared to be shown things like UNBELIEF. PRIDE. IDOLATRY. Unbelief that He is God Almighty? No, I believe with all of my heart that He is Lord. No, what I saw was worse! He showed me there were simple things (idols) that I had been holding onto, hurts I was afraid to give Him, all because I didn't believe His word. I didn't believe that God, THE God over the universe, THE God who created me, could handle them. I guess I was trying to save Him pain, like my sins could cause him more pain than dying on the cross. Oh yeah, I forgot, He died for ALL of my sins on that cross BEFORE I was even born. Sins that haven't even happened yet He's already covered in His precious blood. Grief, Godly sorrow, and gratefulness swept over my soul. As a result, today I'm feeling full of peace! Thank you God, thank you Jesus, thank you Holy Spirit, three-in-one, that the gift I spoke of to my earthly father was made possible by my Heavenly Father centuries ago. If this is something you can relate to, I'd suggest asking the Father to show you your sins, too. It will change your life. Go ahead... I dare you!!!!